A avea dreptate si a fi iubit sunt opuse. Pentru a avea dreptate, trebuie sa-i demonstrezi celeilalte persoane ca a gresit. Asta distruge iubirea. De asemenea invita la conflict. Cand exista iubire, nu conteaza cine are dreptate, si conflictul dispare. Am vazut asta demonstrata acum cativa ani intr-o veche idila. De fiecare data cand aveam o disputa, doamna spunea “Imi pare rau. Te rog, poti sa ma ierti?” Asta topea instantaneu orice opunere ce o aveam catre ea. Supararea mea disparea si iubirea se intorcea. Nu conta daca avea dreptate sau nu, sau daca era iertata sau nu. Nu-i pasa. Ea vroia doar sa intoarca iubirea inapoi in aer in secundele respective. Asta e un exemplu puternic valabil pentru toti. Putem alege sa avem parte de dragoste sau sa avem dreptate. Personal, prefer sa am parte de dragoste. Pe tine ce te intereseaza mai mult?

A avea dreptate distruge dragostea. De asemenea saboteaza eficienta. Cand ai dreptate, esti blocat intr-un singur punct de vedere. Asta te tine focusat sa cauti doar asta, si sa nu vezi nimic altceva. Solutii si oportunitati care altfel ar fi vizibile, tu nu le mai vezi, caci cauti doar dreptatea.

E mai important sa vezi clar decat sa ai ochelari de cal, cautand dreptatea. Altfel vezi solutiile si oportunitatile.
Traducere rapida, originalul in engleza mai jos.

Sursa tot Bill Ferguson, psihologul avocat, aparut la Oprah si laudat de Wall Street Journal & The Washington Post.

Text original
Being right and having love are opposite. In order to be right, you have to make the other person wrong. This destroys love. It also invites conflict. When you have love, it doesn’t matter who’s right, and conflict disappears.
I saw this demonstrated years ago in a former relationship. Whenever we had an argument, the lady I was with would say, “I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me?” This would instantly melt any resistance I had towards her. My upset disappeared and the experience of love returned.
It didn’t matter if she was right or wrong, or if she should be forgiven or not. She didn’t care. She just wanted to get the experience of love back in her relationship.
This was a powerful example of what is available for all of us. We can choose to have love or we can choose to be right. Personally, I would rather have love. What are you more interested in?
Being right destroys love. It also sabotages your effectiveness. When you are being right, you are stuck in a single point of view. This keeps you in a state of tunnel vision and prevents you from seeing anything else. Solutions and opportunity that would otherwise be available, won’t be available for you.
It is more important to see clearly than to be stuck in a point of view. In fact, the more you are clear that you don’t know, the more you can see. This opens the door to solutions and opportunity.